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Thursday, August 25, 2005

i turned 22 on monday. ok, i kid. i turned 25. twenty-freakin-five! can u believe it? cuz i can't! not that i'm sad about turning 25 or anything. it's just i can't believe time flew by so fast. and i certainly don't feel 25.

i had so much fun at the party, at least from what i can remember. the last thing i remember is blowing out my birthday cake candles. i think that was around 12:30. and then i think i sobered up as we were walking to baden after the party around 3am cuz i remember everything after that. so i'm missing 2 and a half hours worth of memory. i wonder wat kind of crazy things i did/said during that time. if anyone took pics, please send to me. i would like to see how retarded i looked. ughhh and my dress was ruined! i got cake all over it.

so i was curious as to why these blackouts happen and here's a study i found -

Overview

       Alcohol interferes with the ability to form new memories.  Large amounts of alcohol, particularly if consumed rapidly, can produce partial (i.e., fragmentary) or complete (i.e., en bloc) blackouts, which are periods of memory loss for events that transpired while a person was drinking.  Blackouts have long been associated with alcoholism.  However, recent studies (e.g., White et al., 2002; White et al., in press 2004; White, in press 2004) indicate that blackouts are much more common among social drinkers, including college drinkers, than was previously assumed.  While often confused with passing out, or losing consciousness after excessive drinking, blackouts do not involve a loss of consciousness.  Indeed, individuals can engage in a wide range of goal-directed, voluntary, often complicated behaviors during blackouts -- from driving cars to having sexual intercourse (White et al., 2002).  Alcohol has only a minimal impact on the ability to remember information learned before becoming intoxicated or on keeping information active in memory for short periods of time.  For these reasons, outside observers are often unaware of the individual's true level of intoxication.  The history and current status of research regarding alcohol-induced blackouts, including knowledge of the brain mechanisms involved, will be reviewed below.

Alcohol and memory: Blackouts

        Blackouts represent episodes of  amnesia during which subjects are capable of participating even in salient, emotionally charged events-as well as more mundane events-that they later cannot remember (Goodwin 1995). Like milder alcohol-induced memory impairments, these periods of amnesia are anterograde , meaning that alcohol impairs the ability to form new memories while intoxicated, but does not erase memories that were formed prior to becoming intoxicated.

        In 1969, Goodwin and colleagues published two of the most influential studies in the literature on blackouts (Goodwin et al. 1969a,b). Based on interviews with 100 hospitalized alcoholics, 64 of whom had a history of blackouts, the authors posited the existence of two qualitatively different types of blackouts. People experiencing the first type, en bloc blackouts, are unable to recall any details whatsoever from events that occurred while they were intoxicated, despite all efforts by the drinkers or others to cue recall. Referring back to our general model of memory formation, it is as if the process of transferring information from short-term to long-term storage has been completely blocked. En bloc memory impairments tend to have a distinct onset. It is usually less clear when these blackouts end because people typically fall asleep before they are over. Interestingly, even in the midst of an en bloc blackout, people appear able to keep information active in short-term memory for at least a few seconds. As a result, they can often carry on conversations, drive automobiles, and engage in other complicated behaviors. Information pertaining to these events is simply not transferred into long-term storage. Ryback (1970) said that intoxicated subjects in one of his studies "could carry on conversations during the amnesic state, but could not remember what they said or did 5 minutes earlier. Their immediate and remote memory were intact" (p. 1003). Similarly, in his study of memory impairments in intoxicated alcoholics, Goodwin (1970) reported that subjects who experienced blackouts for testing sessions showed intact memory for up to two minutes while the sessions were taking place.

      The second type of blackouts, fragmentary blackouts, as the name suggests, involve partial blockade of memory formation for events that occurred while a person was intoxicated. Goodwin and colleagues(1969a) reported that subjects experiencing fragmentary blackouts often become aware that they are missing pieces of events only after being reminded that the events occurred.  Interestingly, these reminders trigger at least some recall of the initially missing  information. Research suggests that fragmentary blackouts are far more common than those of the en bloc variety (White et al., in press; Hartzler and Fromme, 2003; Goodwin et al., 1969b).

interesting huh? anyhoo, thanks for all the cards, flowers, gifts, drinks, and birthday wishes! i got some nice gifts this year hehe. perfume, earrings, burberry hat, boxes of chocolate, ipod, gift certificates, flowers, clothes, etc.

i'm excited i finally get to go watch the wedding crashers today. my co-workers are taking me out for a bday movie and yummy dessert. oh, DO NOT watch duece bigalow. it's a horrible movie. remember how the first one was so hilarious? this one had maybe 2 funny scenes, which they showed during the previews already.

 


Friday, August 05, 2005

this is pure torture. i canNOT stay awake right now... and i think i'm still drunk. i already went to sleep in the wellness room for over an hour but i'm still dozing off. i've mastered the skill of dozing off in college. i rest my head in one hand, hold a pen in the other hand, and let my hair loose so it covers my face. makes me look like i'm deep in thought but i'm actually sleeping hehe.

normally when i'm feeling hung over and shitty like this, i regret going out the nite before but i had so much fun last nite. baden was fun, camel was ehhh, norebang was awesome (altho i usually hate going to norebangs). singing "since you've been gone" was stress-relieving. was going to end the nite with yummy food but i'm kinda on a diet these days so i just came home. but then... i pigged out at home... first thing i do when i get home from doing anything is going to the kitchen and seeing wat's on the stove and opening the fridge, hoping 'please let there be nothing yummy' cuz if there was, i'd pig out on it... and last nite, there was yummy jjigeh (soup)!!! jjigeh when u're drunk is mad good. so of course being the fatty that i am, i ate a huge bowl of it with rice and kimchi =)

i think i'm fully awake now. writing this entry woke me up. i guess it's work that's boring me cuz before, i just couldn't keep my eyes open. today is bbq day at work YAYYY!! oh but how will i get thru the food coma and 5 more hrs of work?!

anyhoo, hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends kinda makes me wanna have a bf. my next bf is going to look like him HEHE

looks never really mattered to me that much but Hyun Bin is just so HOT!!! =)))

some pics... my nephew Aron's dol (first bday)

seaport

 

 not like i didn't know this before but my cheeks are freakin humongous...

 hannah, eunice and me at LQ

the pic is so dark cuz i took it with my phone camera. i need to fix my digital camera. where can i take it to get it fixed? anyone know?

 


Thursday, July 14, 2005

i'm leaving work at 12 noon today  BUT it's for a dentist appointment  i'm absolutely horrified of the dentist. i mean, who isn't - but i'm worse than normal. when my dad managed to drag me to the dentist's office when i was little, i used to run outside and just keep on running the minute he let go of my hand. and then when i got older, i would always hide my toothache and only go when it became absolutely necessary. and i'm afraid i've reached that point again. i can't sleep at nite cuz of the pain, and i could only chew with one side of my mouth. i had to suck on my bagel this morning cuz it was too hard to chew.

i guess what scares me to death about the dentist is the cold needle in my gums, the fact that i have my mouth wide open which makes me feel so exposed and vulnerable, and how i'm fully awake throughout the whole process... but above all, it's the constant drilling noise that's too close to my brain.

on a side note, do you guys have a cute dentist? mine is young but not cute. which is good, cuz i don't wanna be drooling in front of a cute guy. even with the drool suction tube attached, u still drool a little bit... and i'm sure it ain't pretty. i wonder how dentists ever kiss, fully knowing how dirty a human mouth is... ok random thoughts... just trying to keep my mind off the hour of doom that's approaching...

 


Tuesday, June 28, 2005

It took 3 1/2 hrs to get to work today... i don't even know wat happened... all i know is, it took 2 hrs to get from one exit to another, then when i finally got to the next exit, the highway was closed down, so i had to go on local roads and find my way to another highway... and then once i got to the other highway, there was more traffic. throughout the whole ordeal, i listened to classical music to calm me down and it worked for a little bit but then after a while i started screaming like a madwoman... now my head, ears, eyes, arms, pretty much everything hurts as a result of the 3 1/2 hrs of stress and torture.

I need to either look for a job in the city so i can take the subway to work, or move to connecticut. anyone looking or know of someone that's looking for a roomie in stamford?

 


Friday, June 03, 2005

The coffee machine on my floor is broken and i don't wanna walk to another floor to get my coffee... angela without morning coffee = ! i guess i'm addicted to caffeine. it's not that i like the taste (unless it's starbucks or dunkin donuts) but i just crave it, ya kno?

Can't believe it's friday. it feels like a thurs. short work weeks always throw me off. i'm glad today is almost over cuz i'm freakin bored out of my mind at work. lots and lots to do, but still bored... makes sense? 

This is from one of the work email forwards. it's kinda funny, but i guess only corporate slaves like myself can appreciate the humor.

How To Play the Office Bingo:

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and training sessions at your office? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that:

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your "Bullcrap Bingo" card by drawing a square -- 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practices, bottom line, revisit, paradigm, 24/7, out-of-the-loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast-track, result-driven, empower, knowledge-base, at the end of the day, touch base, active listening, mindset, client-focused, ballpark, game-plan, leverage, technology.

At the end of the day
Technology
Best practices
Empower
Revisit
Synergy
Game-plan
Paradigm
24/7
Out-of-the-loop
Benchmark
Strategic fit
Proactive
Value-added
Win-win
Think outside the box
Fast-track
Result-driven
Bottom line
Mindset
Client-focused
Ballpark
Core competencies
Leverage
Touch base

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases spoken during the course of your meeting.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up immediately and shout "BULLCRAP!"

 



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