ang822el's Xanga

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 14:01:19 GMT

i turned 22 on monday. ok, i kid. i turned 25. twenty-freakin-five! can u believe it? cuz i can't! not that i'm sad about turning 25 or anything. it's just i can't believe time flew by so fast. and i certainly don't feel 25.

i had so much fun at the party, at least from what i can remember. the last thing i remember is blowing out my birthday cake candles. i think that was around 12:30. and then i think i sobered up as we were walking to baden after the party around 3am cuz i remember everything after that. so i'm missing 2 and a half hours worth of memory. i wonder wat kind of crazy things i did/said during that time. if anyone took pics, please send to me. i would like to see how retarded i looked. ughhh and my dress was ruined! i got cake all over it.

so i was curious as to why these blackouts happen and here's a study i found -

Overview

Alcohol interferes with the ability to form new memories. Large amounts of alcohol, particularly if consumed rapidly, can produce partial (i.e., fragmentary) or complete (i.e., en bloc) blackouts, which are periods of memory loss for events that transpired while a person was drinking. Blackouts have long been associated with alcoholism. However, recent studies (e.g., White et al., 2002; White et al., in press 2004; White, in press 2004) indicate that blackouts are much more common among social drinkers, including college drinkers, than was previously assumed. While often confused with passing out, or losing consciousness after excessive drinking, blackouts do not involve a loss of consciousness. Indeed, individuals can engage in a wide range of goal-directed, voluntary, often complicated behaviors during blackouts -- from driving cars to having sexual intercourse (White et al., 2002). Alcohol has only a minimal impact on the ability to remember information learned before becoming intoxicated or on keeping information active in memory for short periods of time. For these reasons, outside observers are often unaware of the individual's true level of intoxication. The history and current status of research regarding alcohol-induced blackouts, including knowledge of the brain mechanisms involved, will be reviewed below.

Alcohol and memory: Blackouts

Blackouts represent episodes of amnesia during which subjects are capable of participating even in salient, emotionally charged events-as well as more mundane events-that they later cannot remember (Goodwin 1995). Like milder alcohol-induced memory impairments, these periods of amnesia are anterograde , meaning that alcohol impairs the ability to form new memories while intoxicated, but does not erase memories that were formed prior to becoming intoxicated.

In 1969, Goodwin and colleagues published two of the most influential studies in the literature on blackouts (Goodwin et al. 1969a,b). Based on interviews with 100 hospitalized alcoholics, 64 of whom had a history of blackouts, the authors posited the existence of two qualitatively different types of blackouts. People experiencing the first type, en bloc blackouts, are unable to recall any details whatsoever from events that occurred while they were intoxicated, despite all efforts by the drinkers or others to cue recall. Referring back to our general model of memory formation, it is as if the process of transferring information from short-term to long-term storage has been completely blocked. En bloc memory impairments tend to have a distinct onset. It is usually less clear when these blackouts end because people typically fall asleep before they are over. Interestingly, even in the midst of an en bloc blackout, people appear able to keep information active in short-term memory for at least a few seconds. As a result, they can often carry on conversations, drive automobiles, and engage in other complicated behaviors. Information pertaining to these events is simply not transferred into long-term storage. Ryback (1970) said that intoxicated subjects in one of his studies "could carry on conversations during the amnesic state, but could not remember what they said or did 5 minutes earlier. Their immediate and remote memory were intact" (p. 1003). Similarly, in his study of memory impairments in intoxicated alcoholics, Goodwin (1970) reported that subjects who experienced blackouts for testing sessions showed intact memory for up to two minutes while the sessions were taking place.

The second type of blackouts, fragmentary blackouts, as the name suggests, involve partial blockade of memory formation for events that occurred while a person was intoxicated. Goodwin and colleagues(1969a) reported that subjects experiencing fragmentary blackouts often become aware that they are missing pieces of events only after being reminded that the events occurred. Interestingly, these reminders trigger at least some recall of the initially missing information. Research suggests that fragmentary blackouts are far more common than those of the en bloc variety (White et al., in press; Hartzler and Fromme, 2003; Goodwin et al., 1969b).

interesting huh? anyhoo, thanks for all the cards, flowers, gifts, drinks, and birthday wishes! i got some nice gifts this year hehe. perfume, earrings, burberry hat, boxes of chocolate, ipod, gift certificates, flowers, clothes, etc.

i'm excited i finally get to go watch the wedding crashers today. my co-workers are taking me out for a bday movie and yummy dessert. oh, DO NOT watch duece bigalow. it's a horrible movie. remember how the first one was so hilarious? this one had maybe 2 funny scenes, which they showed during the previews already.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 16:26:54 GMT

this is pure torture. i canNOT stay awake right now... and i think i'm still drunk. i already went to sleep in the wellness room for over an hour but i'm still dozing off. i've mastered the skill of dozing off in college. i rest my head in one hand, hold a pen in the other hand, and let my hair loose so it covers my face. makes me look like i'm deep in thought but i'm actually sleeping hehe.

normally when i'm feeling hung over and shitty like this, i regret going out the nite before but i had so much fun last nite. baden was fun, camel was ehhh, norebang was awesome (altho i usually hate going to norebangs). singing "since you've been gone" was stress-relieving. was going to end the nite with yummy food but i'm kinda on a diet these days so i just came home. but then... i pigged out at home... first thing i do when i get home from doing anything is going to the kitchen and seeing wat's on the stove and opening the fridge, hoping 'please let there be nothing yummy' cuz if there was, i'd pig out on it... and last nite, there was yummy jjigeh (soup)!!! jjigeh when u're drunk is mad good. so of course being the fatty that i am, i ate a huge bowl of it with rice and kimchi =)

i think i'm fully awake now. writing this entry woke me up. i guess it's work that's boring me cuz before, i just couldn't keep my eyes open. today is bbq day at work YAYYY!! oh but how will i get thru the food coma and 5 more hrs of work?!

anyhoo, hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends kinda makes me wanna have a bf. my next bf is going to look like him HEHE

looks never really mattered to me that much but Hyun Bin is just so HOT!!! =)))

some pics... my nephew Aron's dol (first bday)

seaport

not like i didn't know this before but my cheeks are freakin humongous...

hannah, eunice and me at LQ

the pic is so dark cuz i took it with my phone camera. i need to fix my digital camera. where can i take it to get it fixed? anyone know?

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 13:38:30 GMT

i'm leaving work at 12 noon today BUT it's for a dentist appointment i'm absolutely horrified of the dentist. i mean, who isn't - but i'm worse than normal. when my dad managed to drag me to the dentist's office when i was little, i used to run outside and just keep on running the minute he let go of my hand. and then when i got older, i would always hide my toothache and only go when it became absolutely necessary. and i'm afraid i've reached that point again. i can't sleep at nite cuz of the pain, and i could only chew with one side of my mouth. i had to suck on my bagel this morning cuz it was too hard to chew.

i guess what scares me to death about the dentist is the cold needle in my gums, the fact that i have my mouth wide open which makes me feel so exposed and vulnerable, and how i'm fully awake throughout the whole process... but above all, it's the constant drilling noise that's too close to my brain.

on a side note, do you guys have a cute dentist? mine is young but not cute. which is good, cuz i don't wanna be drooling in front of a cute guy. even with the drool suction tube attached, u still drool a little bit... and i'm sure it ain't pretty. i wonder how dentists ever kiss, fully knowing how dirty a human mouth is... ok random thoughts... just trying to keep my mind off the hour of doom that's approaching...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 14:58:43 GMT

It took 3 1/2 hrs to get to work today... i don't even know wat happened... all i know is, it took 2 hrs to get from one exit to another, then when i finally got to the next exit, the highway was closed down, so i had to go on local roads and find my way to another highway... and then once i got to the other highway, there was more traffic. throughout the whole ordeal, i listened to classical music to calm me down and it worked for a little bit but then after a while i started screaming like a madwoman... now my head, ears, eyes, arms, pretty much everything hurts as a result of the 3 1/2 hrs of stress and torture.

I need to either look for a job in the city so i can take the subway to work, or move to connecticut. anyone looking or know of someone that's looking for a roomie in stamford?

Friday, June 03, 2005

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 17:55:40 GMT

The coffee machine on my floor is broken and i don't wanna walk to another floor to get my coffee... angela without morning coffee = ! i guess i'm addicted to caffeine. it's not that i like the taste (unless it's starbucks or dunkin donuts) but i just crave it, ya kno?

Can't believe it's friday. it feels like a thurs. short work weeks always throw me off. i'm glad today is almost over cuz i'm freakin bored out of my mind at work. lots and lots to do, but still bored... makes sense?

This is from one of the work email forwards. it's kinda funny, but i guess only corporate slaves like myself can appreciate the humor.

How To Play the Office Bingo:

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and training sessions at your office? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that:

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your "Bullcrap Bingo" card by drawing a square -- 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practices, bottom line, revisit, paradigm, 24/7, out-of-the-loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast-track, result-driven, empower, knowledge-base, at the end of the day, touch base, active listening, mindset, client-focused, ballpark, game-plan, leverage, technology.

At the end of the day	Technology	Best practices	Empower	Revisit
Synergy	Game-plan	Paradigm	24/7	Out-of-the-loop
Benchmark	Strategic fit	Proactive	Value-added	Win-win
Think outside the box	Fast-track	Result-driven	Bottom line	Mindset
Client-focused	Ballpark	Core competencies	Leverage	Touch base

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases spoken during the course of your meeting.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up immediately and shout "BULLCRAP!"

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 22:29:33 GMT

It's been 4 days since i got back from the bahamas... i miss the sun and the beach so much i was really good there. no blacking out, no hooking up =P no entering crazy contests hehe. i just had fun laying in the sun allllll day long, and then going out to clubs briefly at nite. Grace and i were party poopers. We always ended up coming back to our hotel room by ourselves. Carmen and Eunice on the other hand.. omg they had so much energy! Here are some pics.

grace, jill, me, eunice, and little waiting to be seated at a restaurant where we tried the famous conch.

grace snorkeling

me and little

little and dariusz on kayak

grace and carmen on jet ski

man selling starfish and shells

wet t-shirt contest

at club waterloo

back in NYC

Monday, February 28, 2005

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 01:47:49 GMT

Had to go to work today. I really hate working on Sundays but I felt I had to, to make up for slacking off during the week. I just couldn't concentrate this past week cuz of... ehhh I don't wanna talk about that. Life goes on!

While at work, I decided to file my tax return. I went to turbotax via the IRS website cuz it's free that way, and when I was done entering all the stuff from my W2s, my refund was $45... wtf? That makes no sense. I just canceled out of the site. I guess I'll use some other service... maybe taxact that I used last year. Anyone know of a good service? Or should I go to H&R Block or a CPA? This is so annoying. Why can't they just take less taxes throughout the year so we don't have to deal with this refund crap?!

Camel on thurs. We were the first ones there. Shoulda gone to 3rd floor first. I guess we were too excited about seeing the Hunkamania guys HAHA j/k!!! They never came, by the way. I HATE tequila! It messed me up so badly and I blacked out again. Why does that always happen to me? Thanks sooo much for taking care of me hannah. I still love you even tho you put a plastic bag over your poor passed out friend's head in the cab =P

Central park

My phones usually don't last more than 6 months and I was so proud of this one cuz I had it for a yr and a half, but it finally broke =T All I did was drop it and it snapped in half! I lost all my numbers so please IM me, call me, or email me your #s unless you never want me to call you ever again!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 15:46:46 GMT

Pics =)

Fondue nite with friends from work. I'm so happy i got to make such cool buddies at work cuz it makes the day more enjoyable.

mmm shrimp...

i loooove champagne!

Sanda's bday party at her place in astoria. It was so nice. I wish i had my own place *sigh*

She made all this stuff

Ok bak to work

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 01:57:06 GMT

So many bdays this week. My checking acct is negative for the month hehe Here are some pics. The memory card that came with my camera only holds about 20 pics (i kno, that's ghetto) so I don't have that many to post. I need to get me a bigger memory card.

Jin's bday Thurs. He's a bartender at Baden that I met thru Hannah. Single ladies, go check him out at manhattan baden. He's really cool =)

Me and Hannah

Jin's bday Friday. W/ the bday girl <3

Dad's bday on Sat. That put the biggest dent in my wallet cuz i paid for dinner for all of him and his 5 friends (we had 8 servings of samgyupsal and 8 soju's) AND norebang afterwards.

My dad's so gansta when he's drunk lol

Kyungbum's bday Sat. Awww he's come a long way since 15 yrs ago =)

Met up with Hannah and Joy

My nephew Roy's bday on Sunday. He turned 5.

And finally, check out my new ride! HAHAHA yea i WISH! It's andy's new car.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 20:14:32 GMT

Can't wait to get outta here! Hung out with hannah and her crazy (but fun ) manattan baden co-workers till like 6 in the morning, came home, showered, and came to work. I totally lost track of time. We were eating at kunjip and i get a phone call from my dad asking where da heck I am. I was SO scared cuz he sounded really mad. So I got home with the quickness and I was so sure he was gonna kick me out but he just asked if I'm going to work and left for work himself. My bed was so tempting but I was already gonna be late to work so I had to hop in the shower. I was dozing off on my drive to work so I pulled over on the highway and took a nap lol. Omg what a day!

My company has these rooms called "Wellness Rooms" where you go in and rest/sleep when you aren't feeling well. It's like a mini hotel room with a bed, a table, a lamp, etc... it's really cute. And it's clean cuz after you're done using it, you call the maintenance people and they come and change the sheets and stuff. What I would do without the wellness rooms! I took 3 naps in there today hahahah. 30 minutes each. Uhmm yea I guess I feel a little guilty about napping on company time but normally I work really hard here so I think I deserved it

I'm dreading the drive home cuz I have a feeling I'm gonna doze off again. I'll just load up on caffeine... not that it really does anything for me anymore. Anyhoo, if you're wondering what that thing is on the corner of my page, it's Constantin Brancusi's sculpture called 'The Kiss.' Saw it when I went to the Guggenheim and really liked it.

This week really flew by. Have a nice weekend guys!

Yemi's bday lunch. I tried Indian food for the first time. It was sooooo good.